RIP

There are final bills, final destinations, final exams, final notices, and final frontiers, but nothing is as final as death. You know it will come someday, someway, somehow. It will be there for you, for your spouse, for your children, for your parents. It will be there for everyone you know and for everyone you don’t know. Death is ugly. Death is mean and often painful. Death will be a part of all our lives. We all know it’s coming, but most of us don’t do a lot, if anything, to prepare for it. It’s our final and longest trip and we must go empty-handed, taking nothing with us on this solo journey. Death doesn’t wait for us to finish what we've started. It doesn't always wait for us to say our last goodbyes. It has no schedule and honors no timetable except its own. The finality of death triggers other finals like arrangements and respects.

The above can be reduced to just two words: DEATH SUCKS!

Death became an intimate part of our lives today. We are realizing a deep and painful void. Now my husband has no father. My sons have no grandfather and I no longer have my dad-in-law. Good bye, Charlie. Adieu. Farewell. Oh, how you'll be missed.

photo by Diego Cupolo

NOT SO DANDY LION

Spotting a dandelion taking up residence in his lush green carpet was a personal insult to my dad. Taking great pride in his lawn, he hunted down those lawn lions with a vengeance. Little did we know back then that this nuisance of a weed could in any way be beneficial.

My rabbits are little fertilizer factories for my garden. Several years ago I read that dandelion leaves are a superb food source for them. Having a lawn of more weeds than grass, strangely I had no dandelions, not a one. So what's a good bunny mama to do? I transplanted one from the wild into my orchard. There it stood, one lonely little dandelion flower, but not for long.

That was four years ago. Since then they've multiplied, well, like rabbits, and now I literally have dandelions growing on top of dandelions. Will my bunnies eat them? Only a little nibble here or there. They're really not all that crazy about them. Someone must have told them that they're good for them.




Since we don't use poisons on our grounds and with all this abundance, I'm thinking I should try dining on this tooth leaved plant. It's actually a vegetable that's often used in traditional Mediterranean and Asian diets. With health claims of being good for the liver, kidneys, and gall bladder, how could I go wrong? It also has anti-inflammatory properties, is a natural diuretic and digestive aid, is rich in potassium and lecithin, along with vitamins A, B, C and D. Dandelions are also used as folk remedies for warts and age spots. Like, who knew?

This underrated plant hugs the ground and has a tap root that seems to go all the way to China. The leaves are most tender in early spring and to avoid bitterness should be harvested before the fist flower buds appear. Due to that low growth habit they must be washed and rewashed thoroughly to remove all sand and dirt particles that like to cling to the ridges in the leaves.

Let's see, what if I combine some of those tender leaves with a chopped apple, some walnuts, a hit of goat cheese all topped with some honey-mustard dressing. Sorry, dad, I'm thinking these dandelions could be mighty dandy.

photography by Gaetan Lee and Warren Brown

AH, SPRING!

Officially spring is just one week away and I can hear the curmudgeons among us mumbling, "Yeah and now we're just that much closer to summer." Bah-humbugging heat, humidity, mosquitoes, sunburns, weeds in gardens, grass to mow, and rows to hoe, I can't say that I'm totally out of their camp. Summer is my least favorite season mostly because it's just plain rude. You know, like the way its heat encroaches on spring and then extends itself too long in the fall. I suppose that's more a symptom of where I live so I'll curtail any thoughts of complaining because I'm happy to be in North Carolina and don't plan to more to Minnesota anytime soon.

With spring comes daylight saving time, called summer time in some parts of the world. The time change in the United States, sprang ahead four weeks earlier this year. Instead of the first Sunday in April, we adjusted our clocks on the second Sunday in March. The change in time tends to cause confusion and controversy. Parts of the state of Indiana held out until recently, now only two states don't participate, Hawaii and all of Arizona except for the Navajo nation. Daylight savings time was used year-round for 3 1/2 years during WWII. We are used to time adjustments of one hour, but in other locations in the world it has varied from 20 minutes to two hours.

As the first sign of spring, it's hard to beat crocuses. My glorious yellow ones popped up in January through the snow, the purple ones this week. Daffodils and jonquils poked up their pretty heads in mid-February. At the start of March our almond trees exploded in pretty pink blossoms with an echo just days later from their cousins, the peach trees. And now the white beauty of Bradford pear trees. Ah, spring!

While up here in the northern hemisphere, we're welcoming spring, Australia, the southern parts of Africa and South America are saying adios to summer in preparation for fall.

My first spring foray into the vegetable garden this week was bittersweet. We named it "Kesi's Garden" because it was our big multi-shades of brown Maine Coon's favorite place to be. She claimed the bird bath as her watering hole. On hot days she'd lie shaded from the sun under the broad plant leaves in the garden beds or in the shade rim of the tall trees on the northern side. She spent cooler days stretched out on one of the cement benches. She's now buried there. It's tough enough to lose an older pet who's become a member of the family, but I'm finding it's much tougher when they've just barely reached their prime. I can't even imagine the depths of grief a parent who loses a child must experience. I shed many tears this week when I transplanted the artichoke plants from the greenhouse into their permanent garden bed. Kesi cat with her strong will, big body, and even bigger personality and presence liked to be wherever I was either indoors or out. She'll never see another day, another season, another year. I miss her tremendously and feel like I always will. I'll be spending much time in her garden this season. I'm sure I'll feel her spirit and someday be able to smile instead of cry.

VALENTINES DAYS LIKE NO OTHERS

2009
Valentine days come and Valentine days go. Unless you were proposed to or married on that date, after you've eaten all the chocolates and smelled all the roses, the memories begin to blur. However, I won't be able to say that about my Valentine days this and last year.

When I opened my front door this past Feb. 14, I was greeted with an awesome surprise. There across my porch, spelled out beautifully in pastel candy hearts was "HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!" But that wasn't all. A woven paper basket next to the perfectly formed letters, contained Peppermint Patties, a heart shaped box of chocolates, and a poem from THE VALENTINE BANDIT. Valentine Bandit? I'd say that's a misnomer because nothing was taken. Well, nothing except maybe a little piece of my heart. Candy hearts were strewn across the stairs and down the front walk where red heart-shaped lollipops stood at attention in parallel rows down the sides. It was later that I discovered little candy hearts marching across the top of my mailbox, scattered on the ground around the post and some tucked inside.

POEM PRELUDE EXCERPT - "Everyone has heard of Santa Claus and how he comes on Christmas Eve to deliver toys and goodies to all boys and girls that have been good that year. . . . But few have heard of the Valentine Bandit. Each year she chooses homes filled with love and good deeds, and on the night before Valentines Day she leaves little hearts outside their doors to greet them the following morning."

SELECT PASSAGES FROM POEM - "She spoke not a word, But continued her work, When she placed the last heart, She turned with a jerk. She tiptoed away, To her fast little car, And silently started it, But before she went far, I heard her exclaim, As she drove out of sight, For being loving all year, You've been hearted tonight!"

Ahhhhhh, being 'hearted' really melts my heart. Am I a softy or what? Who did this for us? Who gave us this great honor? Who can I thank for this amusing act of kindness? Who can I do this to next year?

2008
My dear husband never forgets Valentines Day and for 28 of the 29 years we've been together he's always delighted me with a heartfelt gift. February of last year was crazy. In addition to his day job he was gigging three and four nights a week and, as usual, was booked for Vday. Our foster-son totaled his SUV that week. He rides bulls, so him getting roughed up in an auto accident was no big deal, but he was left without transportation. I was sick and had been for a couple of weeks. We couldn't risk him losing his job, so I drove him back and forth which took a four-hour chunk out of my day. Since we wouldn't see each other on Vday, my husband and I agreed to have our own personal Vday at a later date.

It was almost dark when my foster son and I arrived home from his construction site. I went in immediately to whip up a fast supper for us. Shortly thereafter, he comes running in with a bouquet of heart-shaped balloons. While asking him where he got them, I'm thinking, 'Oh, that sweet husband of mine, he didn't wait like we agreed.' The balloons with a gift card attached were hovering just at the edge of our pond. Apparently this was a case of misguided love because the card was addressed to "Adilene Sanchez" and it was from a florist in a neighoring town.

Being Valentines evening, the florist was still in the shop when I called. She was surprised to know that the balloons traveled ten miles before being found. I didn't want someone to end up in the doghouse because of Adilene's missing bouquet, but that wasn't the case. Ironically the person they were meant for lived one block from the floral shop and a gust of wind pulled them from the delivery person's hands just as she reached the destination. Adilene got her bouquet and so did I.

The strange part of this story is that this isn't the first, or the second time that we've found balloons on our property. Two years prior, I found a huge deflated butterfly shaped balloon draped across tree branches. Shortly after we moved here one of my sons found a single balloon that contained the address of someone in a far western state, may have been Oklahoma. We wrote to let them know that the balloon was found in NC. Does everyone find balloons in their yards? Or do we live on something akin to the Bermuda Triangle, maybe the Balloon Triangle?

GROUNDHOG OVERSHADOWED

So who gave the groundhog even a single thought on February 2? His annual big gig arrives and the wary marmot gets overshadowed by the Super Bowl. Don’t beat yourself up if you forgot about Punxsutawney Phil because this year’s Super Bowl was a doozie and if you're a football fan, certainly worth talking about well into the week. Phil and his wannabes will get the full wattage of the spotlight on February 2 in 2010. Next year's Super Bowl Sunday falls on February 7, once again in Florida. It will be played at Dolphin Stadium in Miami Gardens. No excuses for overlooking Groundhogs Day next year. Punxsutawney Phil’s counting on you.

WHEN IT SNOWS, MAKE ICE CREAM

I love a snow-day. I love the sound of it - silence. Silence near, silence far. No school, no work, no traffic. Being snowed-in is a time when time truly stands still, or at least slows down enough so I can catch up with some stuff or stop everything to enjoy the right-here-and-now moments without guilt.

My husband took this photo of our backyard on Obama's day, January 20.

Snow takes me back to my childhood days on the farm when my mother would scoop up snow and magically turn it into ice cream. You can too. I'll share the magic. It's so easy you won't believe it.

Snow Ice Cream
Super fast, super easy, super yummy

½ cup half & half (whole milk or evaporated milk works too)
¼ cup sugar
½ tsp vanilla (or more)
dash of salt
2 cups fresh, clean snow, packed

Combine all ingredients and enjoy immediately.
Makes two servings.
NOTE: Eat it all because it doesn’t store well in the freezer or anywhere else.

RACE TO YOUR FORD DEALER

BUILT FORD TOUGH were the words across the hoodie I gave my foster-son for Christmas. Two weeks later that proved to be a lie.

He was crazy about his 2000 Ford Explorer. It fit his cowboy demeanor and got him where he needed and wanted to go. That night after he and his girlfriend returned from the gym, he parked it in her driveway behind her car. This picture shows what happened four hours later.

He received a recall letter around Thanksgiving. After calling the 800-number on the letter and being placed on hold too long, he hung up. He didn't follow up. The holidays came and just barely went when there was a banging at the door telling them that a corner of the house and the cars in the driveway were ablaze.

He couldn't afford comprehensive insurance so now his cowboy boots are doing the walking. Thanks to Ford's toughness, he has no vehicle, has no means of buying another and still owes us $1000 for this burned one. Thanks Ford. Thanks a lot.

This recall is massive and must be taken seriously. These fires can occur while the vehicle is being driven or when the power is off, and in some cases, idle for days. The speed control deactivation switches are the problem. They have been used for many years in many models of the extended Ford family. Run, don't walk, to your Ford dealer to see if your car or truck may be in danger or check on a recall link such as the one below.

http://www.ford-trucks.com/recalls/recall.php/m-FORD